Our First Love

This will come as a shocker. I have pretty much been missing in action throughout the past several months. Well, in the blog world, anyhow. You will be happy to know, I have been very much present, very much occupied, in other non-cyberspace areas of my life. It has been a whirlwind, to say the least. Let me share a little about what has kept me occupied ... a little about where my heart is these days ... and a little about how deeply and desperately I long to be more consistent in sharing all that God is doing.

First of all, God is so good. His timing is perfect, His plan is purposeful, and He has great and wonderful things in store for those who love and trust Him. I cannot tell you how my heart has gone out to single ladies throughout the past several months. For many reasons. Many, many reasons ... And here are a few of them:

1. God can change things in an instant. In an absolute instant. Quicker than you could ever think, imagine, or dream.

2. God has such a purpose in your singleness at this very moment. Do not get stressed thinking about how long God could be calling you to stay in this season of waiting. It doesn't matter. It is different for every single young woman. For some, it's a few more weeks, months, years. For others, it could literally be just five more minutes. But regardless, for now ... for today ... it's you and Him. The two of you. Invest in your relationship with your God like never before. Ask Him to teach you something every single day. Increase your prayer time. Study the Word of God in detail. Pray big prayers. Believe God for the impossible. Have conversations with Jesus Himself.

3. God wants to blow your ever-loving socks right off your sweet (probably pedicured) feet. God, in all His glory and power, has a purpose and plan for your life that is beyond your wildest dreams. If you have a desire to love a man, to serve a man, to be married - If that desire is knitted into your heart of hearts, if it will not go away, no matter how many times you surrender it to the Lord - then God is just asking you to wait. And that is OK. Because what did I say a second ago? It could literally be just five more minutes.

Almost 6 months ago, a man walked into my life. I need you to understand something before I share some of the juicy details. I had asked (OK, pleaded with) God over and over to either fulfill this area of my life, or to remove the desire completely. As Abraham took Isaac to the altar with the full intention of sacrificing him, out of obedience to God (Genesis 22), I too laid down this most prized prayer of my heart, asking God to take it away, if He so desired. And I walked away from it, knowing that I had done my part - Now it was up to God Himself. Should He desire to take it away, He was going to be faithful to remove what had become such a growing passion in my heart. It would go away, or it would stay. If it went away, I would be OK. I knew God would satisfy me and provide for me in other ways. If the desire stayed, I would have to wait. That I was not so sure I could survive! Waiting ... waiting ... and more waiting. Ugh. Enough said!

On March 17, 2009 I prayed the following prayer in my journal: God, Your Word tells me to ask and I will receive (John 15:7). Please bring my husband to me, Lord. *Note that this was about the one-millionth time I prayed this prayer ... :) Just fyi, in case you were wondering.

On March 18, 2009 I stood face-to-face with my (now soon-t0-be) husband. One week later, God had clearly revealed to me that was the man He had created for me. The one I had prayed for countless times. So recently as 1 week before. Coincidence? I think not. Psalm 104 recounts all the many ways that God fulfills the desires of every living thing. Remember, dear sister ... God will fulfill the desires He has placed within your heart. It's just a matter of when.

And do you know what I love more than anything? Even more than that man God has blessed me with? The fact that when we have an encounter with the Almighty - When He becomes our All in All, our Satisfier, our Bread of Life, our Friend, our Everything - We get to a place in which we NEVER stop longing for Him. Ever. Isn't that fabulous? The longing God placed in my heart for a husband - It has been fulfilled, and believe me, I am praising Him for that! But the longing for a deeper understanding of my God, a closer walk with my Father - It is stronger than ever. Perhaps that is why the particular Psalmist in Psalm 104 breaks into praise after He admonishes God as the One True Satisfier: "I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. May my meditation be pleasing to Him, as I rejoice in the LORD" (Ps. 104:33-34). Because that Psalmist knew that ultimate satisfaction is found only through the Lord.

God will often fulfill the longings of our hearts on this earthly pilgrimage, because as Matthew 6:25-34 so matter-of-factly puts it, God KNOWS what we NEED. Those fulfillments are huge answers to prayer, much of the time. But praise God, that regardless of earthly fulfillment, He still longs to satisfy our soul. And when we know Him deeply, our spiritual desires will outweigh our earthly - And because of that, I do believe we will be able to enjoy our earthly blessings in a way that would not be possible had we not known Him as our Satisfier. "My soul will be satisfied with the richest of foods; within singing lips my mouth will praise You" (Psalm 63:5).

Just the other day, I came across the following verse: "You have forsaken your first love" (Revelation 2:4). My Bible's side note on this verse says the following: "Temptations to follow society's ways challenge us today just as they did the Israelites. Everyday distractions, large and small, keep us from our original commitment to love and follow God. What do we need to do each day to rekindle our first love for our bridegroom?"

No matter the season of life we find ourselves in - whether busy or peaceful - Jesus desperately desires that we continue in pursuit of our love relationship with Him. Jeremiah 2:2 says the following in reference to Israel's forsaking God: "I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert, through a land not sown." May we not only be devoted in the times of desperation - in those seasons of life when we are deeply longing for God to fulfill our desires. My prayer is that our devotion to God would withstand the test of time - the joyous times and the stressful times, the times of need and the times of plenty (Philippians 4:12). That whether we are going through hardships, or we are having the absolute time of our lives ...

We would not forsake our First Love.