Humbled by His Majesty

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?"

(Job 38:4)

A few weeks ago as I was visiting with a friend, she admitted that she often finds herself in an all-out conversation with none other than ... herself. I nearly fell off my chair in laughter as I sat there listening to her daughter's recount of the experience. This sweet child explained that sometimes in the car she will overhear her mother talking to herself and she is forced to call her mother's name multiple times in order to get her attention: "Mom, Mom, MOM!" she narrated. I nearly died! Mostly because I could relate.

My own imaginary conversations typically take place as I'm getting ready in the morning in the bathroom - There's something about putting on my makeup that spurs a need in me for conversation. All the while praying that my husband doesn't walk in and realize he has no-doubt married a crazy person.

I know that no one reading this can relate. [That was laced with a tad bit of sarcasm, but absolutely zero judgment.]

Often times my conversations turn to God in those times. Typically not by default, I'm ashamed to admit. Most of the time it's because my mind gets away with me during my makeup time and I begin to think about how that one person really made me mad, or a particular family member said something to upset me, or that one client drives me nuts. And all of a sudden I find myself in an imaginary debate or encounter with that particular individual - A battle where I am obviously winning the argument, they're put in their place, and I walk away with my head held high. Ugh. It's usually right about then, as I'm walking away with I AM THE WOMAN stamped across my imaginary forehead, that I feel that check in my spirit and my thoughts quickly turn to God.

Side note: Do you realize how insane guys would think we were if they knew that this whole thought process takes place during the 5-minute span of makeup time [or driving to the grocery store time]? Ok, just checking. *Let's take a momentary pause for some laughter and to praise the Lord that He made us female - as crazy as our tendencies may be at times!

My prayer life is often times much like those imaginary conversations. I feel justified in presenting my own agenda, my own opinions, my own strategic plan. And when I have diligently prayed for one specific thing and have not seen a quick or obvious change in circumstances, I will offer up another suggestion ... Lord, obviously this isn't how you intend to deal with this situation, so this ___ will work just as well. I take it upon myself to present the options to Jesus, assured that He will choose the best of the few options to implement.

Why do I feel the need to lend assistance to my Savior? Why pray for His help at all for that matter? To boost His ego? To make Him feel needed? Is this some kind of game? A project for my Type A personality?

In Job 38, the Lord speaks a very bold and humbling word:

"Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.

Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone - while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?" (Job 38:2-7)

I encourage you to read through the last few chapters of Job (38-42). Such an eye-opening picture of our humanness in light of the sufficiency and sovereignty of our God. MacArthur says the following, "God challenged Job to answer all the questions He had posed. God already knew the answer, but Job needed to admit His weakness, inferiority, and inability to try to figure out God's infinite mind. God's wisdom was so superior, His sovereign control of everything so complete, that this was all Job needed to know."

I believe that Job questioned God, just as we question God today. Pride gets the best of our flesh and all of a sudden we are putting God in a box, expecting Him to come through exactly the way we think He should. When will we fully comprehend that He is all-powerful? That yes, by the will of God He became flesh and walked among us in the person of Jesus. But that He is also fully God. Fully God.

In Job 40:8, the Lord speaks some of the most challenging and convicting words in this whole passage: "Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?"

Ouch.

At times I find myself debating His Word to justify my own actions and opinions. Ultimately condemning Him in effort to satisfy my own comfort and enjoyment.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I need a wake-up call. Sometimes I need to be put in my place. Reminding me of the God I serve. He is larger than life itself, and so often I am guilty, as Job was, of demeaning Him to my level. How arrogant and foolish.

Oh Lord, please forgive me. Forgive me for placing such high regard on my own life. On my own desires. May I see You, Father, for who You really are. Just as Job did ...

"I am unworthy - how can I reply to you? ... I know You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted ... My ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes" (Job 40:4, 42:2, 5-6).

Humbled.

By Your Majesty.