Silenced

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."

~ Proverbs 31:26 ~

Why do we cringe at the thought of the Proverbs 31 woman? Is it because we feel her standards are so unattainable, that the rest of us are deemed failure from the start? Because we live in a culture and society where we feel her particular routines and priorities are a little outdated, extreme, or perhaps irrelevant? Because we feel the flaws in our own lives are amplified in the mirror of this godly woman? Well, let me share something enlightening. I have been studying the Proverbs 31 woman. Yes, by choice. I am serious. And my findings? I am wonderfully encouraged, refreshed, and challenged by this special woman represented in the Scriptures.

What a gift God has given us in her - She, my friends, is a reference point for us to look to, in countless situations. I have been amazed at how my daily life encounters nearly everything that she experienced on the day-to-day. Alright, maybe except for the spindle thing: "In her hand, she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers" (Proverbs 31:19). I would like to point out however, that this particular verse may be applicable to someone, just not me. Like my friend Jenny Lynn, for example. She [ahem ... slight disgust ... little eye-roll] has been known to make some of her own clothing. And it's cute. And she's cute. The cutest. And I am just jealous of her creativity. I didn't get that gene. My mother hogged it all. Anyways, Jenny Lynn and I ... We have a pact that she will not tell my husband that she does this. Why? Because I assure you he would think this was the best idea in history. Being that he has me on a b-u-d-g-e-t [I prefer not to say the word very often], he would totally think this was yet another great way we could save some serious money. I am however certain that once I went through with it and fashioned him an article of clothing, he would realize this was not such a great idea. Disaster, I can almost promise. I wish I could show you the multitude of sweaters that have accumulated small holes that I have set out to mend. They never ever seem to fit the same way after I am done with them. Oops.

Ok, girl who can't sew ... Getting back on track.

There is a high calling set before us here, girls. And there is one particular area of our lives that is demanding our attention. God is desperate to have control over this area because it is so crucial. He is desiring submission in the area of our mouths. Yep, I said it. He wants to have control over what we say, and how we say it, and even why we say it.

The Proverbs 31 woman speaks with wisdom and instruction (Proverbs 31:26, above). Can we then imply on behalf of this Scripture, that God would warn us against speaking foolishly and mindlessly? Why yes, I think we can. How often do I talk, just for the sake of talking? How often do I give advice, just for the sake of giving advice? My talking and my offering up advice, according to God's Word, is to be rooted in wisdom and instruction. God's wisdom and instruction, not my own. I have been so challenged by this, y'all. Challenged to invite discernment into my daily life, in the area of my mouth. Here are a few Scriptures I have found to be highly motivating and convicting:

"The discerning sets his feet toward wisdom, but the eyes of the fool are on the ends of the earth." (Proverbs 17:24) - Where am I rooted? Are my feet firmly set upon seeking God's wisdom, or am I distracted by the thoughts, ideals, false promises of this world?

"Whoever restrains his words has knowledge; and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding." (Proverbs 17:27) - Do I practice restraint? Or do I get quickly annoyed and heated at the people in my life - whether at my family, friends, or the cashier at the grocery store? Or the homeless man in the Myrtle Beach Food Lion parking lot? Umm yeah, we won't share that story.

"Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent." (Proverbs 17:28) - When I sense an argument brewing, or find myself in a conversation my spirit is telling me I should not be in, do I ask the Lord to help me remain silent, or do I feel it is more important to state my case?

"Oh that you would keep silent, and that would be your wisdom!" (Job 13:5) - Do I associate silence with wisdom? Am I tuned in to recognize when He is asking me to keep quiet, allowing Him to fix my problem? Perhaps He is asking me to be quiet so that I may hear the words He is giving me to say, instead of relying on my flesh to speak? Or maybe He is asking me to be silent so that He can deal with it all of His own?

Are you thinking right now, as I was when I first read these verses, that occasional silence could possibly be one of the most difficult tasks God is asking you to submit to? Am I suggesting that you change your vivacious and endearing personality, and become a mute? No, I am suggesting no such thing. I am simply suggesting that if we want to be the counter-cultural women that God desires - the women that in our heart of hearts we truly want to be - that we would allow Him to shape our speech to reflect His nature. That we would allow the Great Teacher Himself to define our words in those compromising and difficult conversations, as well as in our everyday phone calls to friends. Deuteronomy 30:11-14 reminds us that the Word of God is near to us. It is in our mouth when we speak it, and in our hearts when we meditate on it. Therefore, we can do whatever it calls us to do. Because when we know Jesus, His Word is a part of us! And we know that there is power in the Word of God.

Ladies, God is asking us to submit our mouths to Him. To allow Him to silence us when necessary. Sometimes He may be asking us to be silent long enough to hear what He is prompting us to say in a certain situation. Other times, perhaps he is silencing us because He wants to take care of the situation on His own, in His own way. The above Scriptures do not in any way call us to be a doormat. Rather, they call us to make the effort, through Jesus, to be intentional with our words. To be the kind of women who speak with wisdom and instruction, as we are encouraged to do through Proverbs 31. Putting aside the foolishness and mindlessness, and rising up with encouragement, truth, value, blessing, promise and affirmation. With wisdom, instruction, and even some godly tact. You can bet that if we commit to speaking with wisdom and instruction, asking the Lord to guide our mouths, there will be times when we will have to speak a tough or uncomfortable word over someones life.

I love His Word so much. Father, thank You for the practical ways You speak to us through Your Word. Continue to teach us. We desire to be counter-cultural women who will raise up the Name of Jesus, to a world that so desperately needs You as their Savior.

Submitting our mouths to You, Lord ...

May wisdom and instruction be our goal.

And may we trust You, even when we are silenced.